Charles Windsor: Democracy and Hidden Power

Prince Charles, correctly known as Charles Windsor, is regularly asked to give his assent to proposed legislation passing before Parliament. He isn't a minister or an MP but a subject of the Crown like any other, yet if his interests are affected he has the power of veto over elected government. Since 2005 ministers have requested his approval for a dozen bills relating to coroners, economic development and construction, marine and coastal access, housing and regeneration, energy and planning. This process has been kept from the public eye and has no accountability.

Attempts to gain access to official papers setting out Windsor's meddling have largely failed, with most government departments, ministers and MPs questioned reserving the right to keep communications with the royals private.

An exception is Labour peer Lord Berkeley, who's also Harbour Commissioner for the Cornish port of Fowey. Recently he sponsored a private members' bill on marine navigation. On 6 September he received a letter from the House of Lords bill office. The letter stated: "The marine navigation bill you introduced would affect the Prince of Wales' interests, and so will require the Prince of Wales' consent for its consideration by Parliament.” Berkeley was told it was a matter of "if" not “when” Windsor would grant consent.

Through his position as the Prince of Wales Windsor is the beneficiary of the Duchy of Cornwall, created as a cash-cow for Edward III's eldest son who became Prince of Wales in 1343. Today the Duchy funds Windsor's multi-millionaire lifestyle, and bills affecting its interests, revenue or property must be agreed by him; he's also Duke of Cornwall. The estate’s a hard-nosed business; even during these bleak economic times its portfolio value has increased from £618m in 2006-7, to £712m in 2010-11. Over the same period, Windsor's annual income from the Duchy has risen from £15.2m to £17.8m.

Andrew George, Liberal Democrat MP for St Ives in Cornwall, has urged ministers to reveal the process by which Windsor interferes with the democratic process. When asked about Parliament’s consultation with the Prince on the recent Children's Rights Bill, the Education Minister, Sarah Teather, confirmed it had happened but said: "We don’t disclose the contents of correspondence with members of the royal family." George also enquired whether the Duchy had made any amendments to the draft Coroners and Justice Act; Justice Minister Crispin Blunt repeated the line.

The Office of the Parliamentary Counsel, which oversees the drafting of legislation, has declined to reveal under what conditions Windsor can veto proposed legislation, saying its refusal to disclose such information is a matter of "legal professional privilege".

Mail Online: The Amanda Knox Case

The Mail Online, electronic organ of the loathsome Daily Mail, has sunk to new lows. Yesterday the trial came to an end in Italy of Amanda Knox, accused of murdering British student Meredith Kercher. Attempting to scoop the verdict, the Mail Online published a pre-written piece the moment the judge said the word "guilty."

Unfortunately though, the Mail was caught out by the judge finding Ms Knox guilty of slander, before clearing her of the murder charge. At the sound of the judge's first "guilty" they simply hit the 'publish' button.

The Mail's piece included a description of the defendant's ashen face after the guilty verdict had been read out against the murder charge. It also considered the likelihood of Ms Knox's appeal against her murder sentence; the probability of the appeal's rejection; and the speculation she'd be placed on suicide-watch. Reactions of both girls' families were described, the victim's relatives staring stonily ahead, the defendant's in tears; prosecutors were said to be delighted. Of course, none of this actually happened.

It's one thing to prepare two draft outcomes for court stories; in news journalism this is standard practice. But the Mail simply fictionalised the entire episode. Had the murder verdict been 'guilty', the dishonesty of the piece would have stayed undetected. The mistake isn't just about a pre-written story, the wrong boilerplate or predictive cliches. It's yet another in a long line of the Mail's unmitigated ethical disgraces.

Spot The Difference (6)

Left: former BBC news reporter, now presents gentle TV programmes for the elderly. Pencilled in for Songs of Praise.

Right: One-dimensional 'comedienne': "I'm fat, I'm fat, all men are bastards, ooo a cake." But still funnier than grandson Russell.

Spot The Difference (5): Miliband vs Plasticine

Left: Labour party supply leader. Brought in as a stop-gap until the party's appalling record under Gordon 'Chuckles' Brown has been forgotten by the electorate, when he'll be replaced by Yvette Cooper.

Right: Piece of plasticine. For short periods, can be animated.

Country Walking: Stick People

One of the joys of Cornwall is the scenery; I love tramping across the countryside. Be it coastline, moor or the truly atmospheric Cornish antiquities, on goes my walking stuff.

My boots are a good ten years old, dubbined until they're like butter. In a sale a few years ago I bought a second pair thinking that eventually the old faithfuls would drop to bits, but they're still a going concern.

Above the boots I tend to wear army surplus stuff. There are loads of pockets for necessaries, and it's tough. Hacking through brambles on Predannack Down may not be your cup of tea, but it would be a jolly sight worse in Marks slacks.

My car's filled with vital equipment. A change of clothes for when it rains. A map, food, a small pack, a camera, a book. The last doubles as my toolkit - if I break down, I can read it until the RAC arrives.

Walking's a gregarious pursuit. You meet other explorers and people stop for a chat. Often they're middle-aged, but walking is great exercise and many are very fit. Some know about the locality, or have friendly dogs you can make a fuss of. Others can give you directions, which is helpful when the map's wrong (this happens quite a lot). The old campaigners are easy to identify; they use worn-in, battered but serviceable clothing and equipment.

But can someone please explain the current fad for walking with the aid of sticks.

We see this particularly among smartly-dressed walkers, couples with matching cagouls in bright, jolly colours. As well as their new booties and little packs they favour telescopic, carbon-fibre walking-sticks, sometimes just one, often two. To these people, sticks are an indespensible aid to motion.

Couldn't the stick people just walk normally? Sometimes the terrain's perfectly flat; it's never likely to reach the severity of the Matterhorn. There's no need to push off on every stride, as if they were dragging a laden Arctic sled behind them.

No. Even in the uncomplicated world of walking about, the nurtured need has arisen to accessorise. Megacorp is snaring this simple activity in its loathsome commercial grasp. What further ridiculous embellishments can we look forward to?

Message: don't be a victim, don't buy stupid sticks! They aren't cool, they don't help you to walk; you learned to do that some time ago.

Charles Causley: My Mother Saw A Dancing Bear

Charles Causley was a poet of international stature, born and bred in Launceston, Cornwall where he lived for most of his life. Highly-regarded by John Betjeman, Ted Hughes and Roger McGough, Causley’s early work was noted for its narrative style and included many references to Cornwall and its legends.

During the 1970s Causley began to publish poetry for children, simple rhymes to delight readers by their very sounds, often illustrated by prominent artists. He also wrote plays, short stories and opera librettos. In 1967 he was awarded the Queen's Gold Medal for Poetry; a CBE followed during 1986. Causley died in 2003.

'My Mother Saw A Dancing Bear' is my favourite Charles Causley poem.

My mother saw a dancing bear
By the schoolyard, a day in June.
The keeper stood with chain and bar
And whistle-pipe, and played a tune.

And Bruin lifted up its head
And lifted up its dusty feet,
And all the children laughed to see
It caper in the summer heat.

They watched as for the Queen it died,
They watched it march, they watched it halt.
They heard the keeper as he cried,
"Now, Roly-Poly!" "Somersault!"

And then my mother said, there came
The keeper with a begging cup,
The bear with burning coat of fur
Shaming the laughter to a stop.

They paid a penny for the dance
But what they saw was not the show;
Only in Bruin's aching eyes
Far-distant forests, and the snow.

This Is No Ordinary Dinosaur ...

Recently, Bill Bennett was overcharged by Marks and Spencer for a sandwich. He sent an email to them:

I was in your Taunton store a couple of days ago, and bought a sandwich. You’ll notice from the photos enclosed that the sandwich was priced up on the shelf at £1.90 but scanned through at £3.00. I would be grateful if you would refund the difference to me, preferably back to the payment card used. Regards.
The store replied:
Thank you for your email regarding your sandwiches. I was sorry to hear you were overcharged. Unfortunately, I am unable to refund the amount onto your credit card but if you would like to send in your address details I will happily send you a gift card. Kind regards, Tracey Burns, Retail Customer Services.

Time passed but Bill's gift card wasn't sent. He emailed:
I’ve still not received the gift card, could you please advise? Rgds.

From M&S came:
Thank you for contacting us. I’m sorry we’ve not sent your gift card yet. We will arrange this as soon as possible. Kind regards, Anne Gledhill, Your M&S Customer Service.

Bill responded with:
It’s [address]. For the inconvenience of all the letters, I would also like a hand-drawn picture of a smiley dinosaur to be included with the gift card. I trust you will be able to comply with this request.

An unusual demand but fair play to him. Not to be outdone, M&S replied with the following:
Thank you for getting back in touch and I am sorry to hear about the overcharging in our Taunton store for the sandwiches. As agreed with my colleagues Tracey and Anne please find a gift card for £5 to cover the overcharge of the sandwiches.

Please also find a picture of a smiling dinosaur, hand drawn. Unfortunately art was never my strong point, but I hope you will appreciate it. Thanks and regards, Steve Jones, Customer Adviser, Retail Customer Services.

Mr Jones may not have a future in the world of art, but his innovative customer service skills succeeded in prompting from Bill: "It’s awesome – they’ve more than made up for overcharging me." A neat ending, and another satisfied customer.

Sloe Gin: Country Phial

Lovely weather yesterday, here in Cornwall. London Acres was bathed in warm sunshine, across the meadow the blue river twinkled; peaceful silence broken only by birdsong. Time to go out.

In the nearby lane I met an elderly lady snaffling blackberries and sloes from the hedgerows. I nipped back for two carrier-bags. What better than to gather succulent fruits during an afternoon stroll around the local fields, or along the river path. Both have blackberries galore - lovely with a dollop of cream, or in a pie. But also of great interest are the sloes.

Christmas has many disadvantages, but one compensation is sloe gin. Smooth, sweet, sticky, it brings comfort, a warm fuzzy swaddling as it slips down; the loathsome period recedes. You have to know to make it, so here are some instructions.

1) Collect lots of sloe berries - don't leave it too long, get out there over the next couple of weeks or you'll find they've started to turn. Good luck with this bit if you live in Newham. In fact, good luck generally.

2) Buy two 70 cl bottles of Asda Smart-Price Gin.

3) Get two empty 70 cl screw-top spirit bottles from your friendly publican.

4) Prick each of the sloes a couple of times.

5) Fill each of the four bottles half-full with gin, and a third-full with sloes.

6) Bung in a load of sugar, but leave a bit of space at the top of each bottle.

7) Give each of the bottles a really good shake. Oh, put the tops on first - sorry.

8) Place the bottles upright in a warm place. Inspect them monthly. Add more sugar, give them a bit of a shake. Put the bottles back unsampled.

9) Christmas Day. Drink four 70 cl bottles of sloe gin. You may need a friend to help you with this bit, eventually.

Cornwall Council: Olympic Torch Masterplan

Cornwall Council's reputation with voters has skyrocketed yet again, after spare funding was revealed today for the direct benefit of local people. In times of widespread public service shortfalls and local government job losses, the Council's succeeded in showing its idiotic detractors what financial prudence is all about.

In an astonishing leap of imagination which caught critics off-guard, the Council has passed up dull opportunities merely to fix roads or provide accommodation. Instead, dovetailing current international affairs with local needs, officials have rolled out a financial plan to support the passing through Cornwall next year of the Olympic Torch.

Council tourism officer Malcolm Bellend described the post created to mastermind the scheme. "We're seeking a Project Administrator to assist the Festivals & Events Coordinator in the successful delivery of the Olympic Torch Relay through Cornwall in May 2012," he intoned. "The Project Administrator will help raise awareness of the event throughout Cornwall, while also reinforcing the county's profile nationally and internationally." Bellend declined to say whether the post would be filled by an employee from the Council’s Serco industry partner, but confirmed a total promotional budget of £135,000 has been ring-fenced for the one-day event.

Despite overwhelming local enthusiasm for the Council's carefree innovation, a few 'moaning minnies' have tried to spoil the occasion. Mid-Cornwall MP Stephen Gilbert said: “It’s bonkers for Cornwall Council to throw money around when at the same time they're hitting local projects and services with funding cuts. Instead, cash should be put into schemes which benefit our communities here.”

But the 'wet blankets', say officials, are a tiny minority; most people are setting aside fears of homelessness or unemployment and embracing the Olympics whole-heartedly. It's expected the Council will soon be revealing all the Cornish venues it's secured where Olympic events will be held.

The Council's estimated that as much as £7 million could be made from the torch's journey between Land’s End and the Tamar. However, it has yet to say whether the actual financial out-turn will be independently verified, or notified to the public. It has also to explain what the project can achieve in terms of raising awareness that relentless national media bombardment can't.

Since the torch itself will be carried nationwide, it's not as if visitors will flock to see it in Cornwall. There will be no legacy left of its progress, so no long-term or even residual benefit for Cornish people. On top of that, the £100 million central government-backed advertising campaign to lure overseas tourists to Britain has concentrated on London and south-east England; the Duchy has been snubbed.

£135,000: another waste of public money by cash-strapped Cornwall Council? You decide.

Mind Your Head

Libyan rebels have celebrated their advance into Colonel Gaddafi's former base at Tripoli by firing their guns into the air. Usually it’s the good old Russian AK-47, global automatic firearm of choice for revolutionaries. Shooting a weapon into the sky to express triumph and euphoria is popular across much of the world, particularly in 'dry' countries where you can't get pissed off your head by way of merriment. But it’s also a potentially fatal activity which regularly results in the deaths of bystanders.

After Iraq's football team had defeated Vietnam in 2007's Asia Cup, amid widespread gunshots as fans celebrated in Baghdad three people were killed. Triumphant gunfire across Kuwait at the end of the 1991 Gulf War was blamed for 20 deaths.

In 2010 three people in the Philippines died due to stray bullets fired to welcome New Year's Eve. That year too, a Turkish bridegroom killed three relatives when he loosed off an AK-47 at his wedding.

Such were the problems in Macedonia that the government there ran a poster campaign with the slogan "Bullets Are Not Greeting Cards - Celebrate Without Weapons." Ahead of New Year's Eve 2005, Serbian authorities warned their citizens that "every bullet that is fired up must come down."

Studies suggest that, although the velocity of a falling bullet is lower than that of a round which has just been fired, it’s still sufficient to be fatal. On the evidence above, more than merely a suggestion surely.