It's A Girl!

Madonna's wangled another child from the Malawian authorities. At last we can sleep easy, as the pop diva expands her family while the country's judiciary graciously steps aside.

Mercy: 'Do you have AIDS, mummy?'

Madonna: 'Sure kid, they're over there, just out of shot. Now, look up at me trustingly.'

Madonna, the Red campaign led by Bonio, Tony Bliar's star-studded Africa Progress Panel. Genuine attempts to help Africa, or self-serving publicity platforms?

Now, you may not like Bob Geldof's robust approach, but he was first to put Africa's medical and financial plight in front of the world, and his work raised a lot of money. How the money was spent, of course, is another matter. But perhaps he has a credibility the others lack; is his ungracious gruffness a sign of genuine reluctance to benefit personally from his campaigns?

By the by, the story goes that Paula Yates used to spend a lot of time at home in the nude. Cooking, housework, watching telly, all in the buff. An odd quirk, you might say. But then, being married to Bob Geldof is probably enough to put anyone off clothes.