It's here. The first of the year's Megacorp manipulations, as we're induced to demonstrate love and affection for our partners by purchasing hopeless junk.
Valentine's Day - To Do List
Garage
Petrol for shopping expedition.
Bunch of flowers.
Supermarket
Chocolates.
Card with badge, song and arse-clenchingly embarrassing message.
Useless doll.
Fluffy four-foot tall toy animal in lurid pink.
Restaurant
Book table for two (early-bird). Not Indian.
Or instead, maybe the thing to do is have a competition to see which of you can find the most pathetic or stupid VD gift. You'll still have to spend a bit of money on rubbish, but you'll have a great laugh presenting each other with the item you've chosen. I guess it's important to get agreement on this wheeze with your loved one .
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