England vs Norway: Total Victory!

Atkins: Euro-victory for our boys

Last night, once again Engerland stamped its authority across Europe's banana states in a crushing reminder of who's top dog in this part of the world.

At football, skipper Tommy 'Tiger' Atkins and his young lions tore apart a dazed Norwegian eleven in Oslo while from the touchline new team manager, Ollie Hodgson, watched proudly.  After our boys' comprehensive 1-0 victory over the Nordic laggards it's odds-on that this summer the European Championship cup will return to Old Trafford.

Engelbert: fond of animals

Engerland also impressed at yesterday's Eurovision music competition, held in some outlandish third-world country, where our entry comfortably beat Norway's feeble effort.  The evening was humiliating for the tearful Norwegian competitor, who at the end of the night trailed by several points to Engelbert Humperdink's well-received ballad.
  
Yet again, drawing on our customary grit and determination to 'get the job done', Engerland remains the wonder of Europe.