Valentine's Day: Shop In The Name of Love

It's here! A huge welcome to Valentine's Day, as we're induced to show love for our partners by giving them hopeless junk.
 

I love Valentine's Day, though I never get any cards. That's not important. It's the rubbish touted in the name of VD, as I like to think of it, that I  admire. On VD, if you don't shower your other half with tat you're in deep trouble.   
VD - To Do List

Garage

• Petrol for shopping expedition
• Bunch of flowers

Supermarket

• Chocolates
• Card with badge, song and arse-clenchingly embarrassing message
• Useless doll, or four-foot tall toy animal in pink: lurid pig, Mr Hippo, perhaps a great big hephalump.

Restaurant

• Book table for two (early-bird). Not Indian.

Instead of joining in though, it might be more fun to see which of you can find the most pathetic or stupid VD gift. You'll still have to spend a bit of money on junk, but you'll have a great laugh presenting each other with the item you've chosen.

I guess it's important to get your significant other's agreement on this wheeze.