Chris Huhne: Exit Lane!

The career of Chris Huhne, ex-Liberal Democrat MP, is in ruins. Scorned wife Vicky Pryce has used the legal process to ensure he’s well and truly driven out of office. For ten years global-warming nutter Huhne has lied about his speeding penalty points, and yesterday was found guilty of perverting the course of justice. At the time of the offence Huhne drove a luxury BMW 7-Series – registration H11HNE – but after being appointed Energy Minister hurriedly dumped the vast guzzler for a Prius.

This isn’t the first time Huhnocchio has had truth issues. In May 2011 his agent was overheard telling colleagues his 2010 election campaign had cost £60,000 – £10,000 more than stated. Making a false declaration of election expenses can mean a year’s imprisonment. Huhne evidently had friends on the Electoral Commission though, and the investigation was dropped.

It’s believed Huhne’s lying skills were honed many years ago, as the result of a birthday card sent late. Since he’ll now be ‘off the road’ the Prius will go, but should fetch a good price since it includes a unique feature: it can be driven from any seat. Meanwhile, like some of his ex-colleagues, the shamed politician's preparing for time in a taxpayer-funded second home. Enjoy your stay Mr Huhne, and remember: don’t drop the soap.