George Osborne Supports Chelsea!

Mr Osborne enjoying last night's match

It’s emerged Britain’s Chancellor George Osborne is a keen follower of Chelsea Football Club.  With his German counterpart, finance minister Wolfgang Schäuble, Osborne watched last night’s UEFA Cup Champions League final in Germany between Chelsea and Bayern-Munich.  The two fans ‘bunked off’ a dull meeting of the G8 nations in America, where football isn't widely popular. 

Hr Schäuble, a Bayern supporter, must have been disappointed with the result.  Several times the clear-eyed Teutons almost scored a goal, but were kept at bay by Chelsea skipper Tommy 'Tiger' Atkins and his brave English lionhearts who held on for final victory.  After the match Atkins received the elegant winner’s trophy from Frenchman Michele Platini, UEFA’s head and long-time admirer of English football. 

Mr Osborne was eager to make clear he’d paid his for own flight and hotel while visiting the cradle of Fascism.  He’d supported Chelsea for several hours, he explained, having received a complimentary ticket to watch the game, and admitted liking the colour of his new replica shirt.  Osborne was also keen to show autonomy from boss David Cameron, a Hull City supporter who dislikes Chelsea and believes their player John Terry is “a bit of a knob.”

Osborne watched the game from the stadium’s elite presentation box, alongside European dignitaries Roman Abramovich and Christine Bleakley.  As Chelsea's players mounted the steps to collect their winner's medals, he clapped enthusiastically and pushed forward to have his photograph taken.  After the match, Osborne sought out winning team ‘manager’ Roberto Di Matteo and invited him to join the government as Minister of Miracles.  He also had a brief meeting with Mr Abramovich, a businessman, to ask for money.