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| Pillsbury: what a muddle! |
Prime
Minister David Pillsbury recently left
his daughter in a pub following a mix-up with wife Samantha, it was revealed
today. Red-faced Pillsbury forgot the
child after a long Sunday lunch with toff friends at the Plough Inn, near his country
retreat Chequers.
The Prime Minister explained he was
taken home in one car along with his bodyguards, and thought eight-year-old Nancy
was with Samantha in some other car. In
turn, Mrs Pillsbury believed Nancy had accompanied her father. The muddle was only noticed after everyone had
arrived home.
An aide explained: “The
Prime Minister was distraught when his people notified him one of the party was
missing. After a couple of quick coffees,
he drove straight back to the pub to pick up er the child.”
Nancy was found preparing
for a gap-year in 10 years’ time by helping bar-staff and practicing an
Australian accent. “Talking with proles is fun,” she chortled as drunken strangers, now the little girl’s friends,
crowded round and laughed at her antics.
Pillsbury joked: “She always finds her way home – and at least I
remembered the meal receipt!” After tuts
from elderly customers, he added: “From now on, Sam will be doing the Sunday
lunch!”
Pillsbury’s security team and
the hire-car firm involved, Dave’s Minicabs, have been cleared
of stupidity over the incident after it was found Nancy had thrown everyone off by hiding under a table. But staff and regulars at the
Plough are worried. Barmaid and mother-of-five
Tracey Island said: “It’s a disgrace. I always lock my kids outside in the car where they’ll be safe.” Drinker Bunny Tuffington-Smythe (85) added: “If
the idiot can't even look after his daughter, what chance has this benighted
country got?”
Mr Pillsbury has also recently
lost a bicycle, and is keen to establish parenting classes for the socially
inadequate.
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