Sunday, 8 July 2012
Barclays and LIBOR: What A Muddle!
Well, pretty much as I originally predicted except the other guy resigned. Bob Diamond left the bank, while Barclays chairman 'Senator' Marcus Agius returned. Shocked by the intensity of public disgust at Barclays’ behaviour, Mr Diamond said: "Bloody proles didn't even know what a LIBOR was until last Thursday week."
To steady the helm at the troubled usurer, initially Lord Geezer had refused to quit. "I was quite disappointed,” he confessed yesterday, following his daily worship before a 20-foot ivory image of Beelzebub. “No one’s sorrier than I am about these events coming out. I'd hoped to stay on, to ensure nothing like this is ever detected again."
Leading the applause for Diamond’s years of valuable service with Barclays is his daughter Nellie. Privately-educated Miss Diamante, 23, rejected British government criticism of her father which appeared in the press. She tweeted: "George Osborne and Ed Miliband you can go ahead and #hmd." HMD is an expression of disgruntlement employed by low-end American teenagers; money well spent on Nellie’s schooling then.
A handful of jealous detractors have claimed Ms Diamond is pampered, privileged, and unrepentant over her ‘show biz’ lifestyle being funded by daddy's piracy. But at least Nellie works for a living; using her degree in English to the full, she’s been lucky enough to find a job with Deutsche Bank. Meanwhile Barclays has sought cathartic resolution to its dilemma, introducing a new savings-account marketing campaign with hoardings like the one above; in other words, business as usual.