Oh No - Chiles and Bleakley Lose Jobs!

After months of rumour fuelled by a handful of jealous detractors, this week ITV reluctantly made it official: Christine Bleakley and Adrian Chiles have been ditched as presenters of bedridden breakfast show Daybreak. They’ll leave before the end of the year.

The channel's reported that instead, Adrian will ‘prioritise’ his role as presenter of ITV’s live football coverage, which should ensure rival stations’ match-viewing figures stay perky. He’ll also host what’s described as a ‘topical discussion programme’, the brainless Sunday Night Show, inexplicably set to return next year for a third run.

Brand Bleakley’s been parcelled off to Dancing on Ice, which has featured such heavyweight contestants as Bobby Davro and Kerry Katona. It’s hard to believe such a show dovetails with Christine’s views on the scale of programme she’s entitled to present. She’ll also host ‘Westlife: For The Last Time’ and join ITV’s charity special ‘Text Santa’, though sadly both projects have limited long-term potential.

Since September last year, the Christine and Adrian dream team has worked tirelessly to ruin ITV’s breakfast ratings, already poor after years of idiotic marketing platform GMTV. Arriving from the BBC’s One Show for packages totalling £10m, much was made of the two’s on-screen chemistry which it was felt would boost ITV’s figures.

But Chiles’ scowling personality simply isn’t right for the breezy, cheerful world of early-morning commercial television. Equally, with her absurd permatan and enormous brassy engagement ring, toothsome Bleakley’s hardly the friendly girl-next-door type to start the day with.

Instead, as ITV’s blunt announcement made their failure a public humiliation, Christine tweeted her astonishment and distress to all her followers: "What a lovely headline to wake up to. I hope my sarcasm comes across in this tweet." Adrian said he was "angry, upset, and acutely embarrassed", a state of mind in which he seems to spend much of his time. How did it all go so wrong?

Since the announcement Daybreak’s viewing figures have actually improved; let’s hear it for viewer malice. If you want to win the breakfast television war, ITV, there’s a simple one-stop solution: pinch Carol Kirkwood.