Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Valentine's Day: Shop In The Name of Love

It's here. The first of the year's Megacorp manipulations, as we're induced to show love and affection for our partners by purchasing hopeless junk.
I love Valentine's Day, though I never get any cards. That's not important. It's the laughable rubbish touted in the name of VD, as I like to think of it, that I especially admire. On VD, if you don't shower the lodestar of your life with tat you're in deep trouble.

VD - To Do List
  • Petrol for shopping expedition
  • Bunch of flowers
  • Chocolates
  • Card with badge, song and arse-clenchingly embarrassing message
  • Useless doll, or four-foot tall toy animal in pink: lurid pig, Mr Hippo, perhaps a great big hephalump.
  • Book table for two (early-bird). Not Indian.

Or instead, maybe the thing to do is have a competition to see which of you can find the most pathetic or stupid VD gift. You'll still have to spend a bit of money on rubbish, but you'll have a great laugh presenting each other with the item you've chosen.
I guess it's important to get your other arf's agreement on this wheeze.

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